E-portfolio Writing: My Camp Experience

Describe It - Camp Experiences

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Describe It - Camp Experiences

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

As the parent helper puts the uncomfortable harness on a shaky body, you can hear the wind blowing the tall and strong trees. Everyone felt anxious about what could happen like if a tree snaps or if the rope rips and someone falls down to their death. Then the instructor called someone up. Their legs were so shaky they couldn't even walk properly. Then he told the person to climb up a ladder, you could tell that it was hard for them because they were really nervous.


Then the instructor told the tired children to run to level 2, so they did. As they ran, you could tell they were huffing and puffing. Then when they had ran to the correct distance, there was a snap! The person was screaming the whole time, because they were going extremely fast.


Student Reflection:
In my writing, my goal is to use different sentence types - Simple Compound and complex.
I did show this goal here because I put in two complex sentences and I put in quite a few compound sentences.

In my writing, one of my goals is to use different sentence beginnings and lengths.
I did not show this goal here because I used the word then at the start of a lot of sentences.

My next step is to support main ideas with details that fit.

Teacher Comment: Boston, you are able to idenitfy and use a variety of sentence types in your writing. Sometimes, depending on the type of writing you are doing, it is okay to repeat sentence starters for impact. However, be mindful if you are doing this often as in longer stories, it can disengage the reader.